January 13th

Dr. Lupton scheduled the c-section for 8 a.m. on January 13th. That's 7 weeks, 6 days or 55 total days left. I can't believe it is so soon! I really hope we are ready. We still need to finish refinishing the bed and get the room put together. I think we are going to work on getting Xavier's room moved and put together this weekend.

This has been a hard week. There was a big fall-out between my mother-in-law and me, and I am pretty sure I may have "lost" the rest of the family, too. I tried to be as sensitive and delicate about things as I could, but eventually, all things got too extreme and well, there were some things that needed to be said. I tried to say them with compassion and with the love and care I feel for them all, but I am not sure it was as well-received as I had prayed it would be.

Noone has said anything to me about it, but that is the problem for me. Noone has said ANYTHING to me. I am trying to be "bigger" than needing vindication. But some reassurance, kind word, SOMEthing would be nice. Instead, I have been alienated and left alone, and the topic is just being avoided. While I am sure this brought a lot of stuff up that maybe noone wanted to deal with, I hope much healing can come from it. And right now, I am left on the outside, hurting and having to try to heal by myself and learn how my life is going to be with the big hole that is now there, and the new dynamic which is my family. Truth is, this is affecting my marriage, too. And I hope we can be bigger than this.

Let's hope the next few weeks go by much more smoothly.

Song and Dance

Ok, so after about a million unsuccessful attempts to load this video directly here, I have had to upload it to youtube in order to share it.

This was on Halloween. Papaw brought his guitar and when he played, Emma became the song and dance lady. She was crackin' us up! Looks like she got touched by the Jerry Lee Lewis spirit :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2olXieYukOU